One Who Lies with Wolves
by Skylar D. C
Summary: After the templars in Kirkwall are defeated, Hawke's group flees the Free Marches and finds their way into the Wilds. Four years after setting up a refugee camp for apostates, Fenris shows up, asking help from Hawke to kill a powerful magister in Tevinter. Many lines are crossed, hearts broken, and trusts lost as Hawke makes a decision that could change the lives of many.
1. The Beginning of a New Life

**Chapter 1**

The sun was descending quickly behind the trees of the Wilds, the shadows elongating, nocturnal creatures rustling, dangers waiting. There was a man in the forest. He had sandy hair pulled back in a short twist at the nape of his neck, a strong nose which was placed on an angular face and eyes that were the lightest of brown, eyes that always had a spark in them. The man was bent over a small embrium flower that was withering away in the blighted soil, delicately detaching each hair-thin root from the earth, a task that did not suit the man's size. This man was Anders. After successfully removing the flower, he placed it gently in a basket that contained various herbs and stood up, brushing the dirt from his knees. Noting the lack of daylight, he picked up his parcel and swiftly walked through the trees, watching every shadow, hearing every noise until he saw the soft glow of the camp.

The Nest was a large camp, hidden away in the extreme northern edge of the Wilds, away from the threat of the Templars. The camp was created to house fleeing apostates, not only to provide shelter and food, but also skills. The apostates could learn magic in which they could protect themselves, may it be offensive or defensive or healing, but never blood magic. That was one unwritten purpose of the refuge: to deter blood magic. The Nest was not always intended to be a refugee camp. It had first started out as a regular makeshift camp, with a small fire pit, and a few bed rolls that would serve as the home of the fleeing criminals for the night.

* * *

"Well guys, this is good of a place as any," Hawke said when they walked into the clearing, the setting sun casting an orange hue on their temporary home.

"It's a very large space. And, well, I think it's nice," Merrill took off her pack and set it by a rock, "I think I shall gather some kindling. For a fire,"

As Merrill trotted off, Hawke turned to the rest of the group.

"We need to quickly set up, it's almost dark and Maker forbid another night in darkness. Aveline, can you scout the surrounding area? Make sure there are no darkspawn or bandits near us. Varric, once Merrill comes back, start to set up the fire and Isabela, can you help Merrill collect that firewood?" As the companions mumbled their responses and left, Hawke and Anders were left alone at the edge of the clearing. Hawke looked around as Anders studied her intently. She had dark, shoulder length hair that ended in spirals, her skin was a fair parlor, and her eyes always reminded him of emerald leaves in the sun. He had known her for almost eight years now, and never failed to be amazed by her beauty. Hawke caught him staring at her and smile.

**AuthorsNote: Okay guys, this is my first time writing a fanfic. I know this is a short chapter, but if you want me to continue, please leave a response. Also, please tell me if this is good or bad. I need opinions. Thank you. **


	2. A Normal Day in Camp

**Chapter 2**

In a span of four years, the camp that was only furnished by a pitiful fire and a few bedrolls had gradually expanded into a flourishing village of tents.

* * *

It first started off as three strangers entering Hawke's clearing four days after the group set up camp. The three turned out to be from a family which was well-known among Starkhaven, but also burdened with the secrecy that was partnered with magic.

"The commotion in Kirkwall sent my family in a panic, and we knew it was getting dangerous to stay in the city. We were traveling to my family's villa in northern Ferelden when we were intercepted by darkspawn. My mother and father… they couldn't keep them away from us and were overcome. We ran, my brothers and I, but in the opposite direction of our destination, and we ended up here." The young woman concluded dismally, her head hung in remorse.

The woman and her two brothers were welcomed in the camp, and soon became friends with Hawke and her companions, picking up techniques in which they could defend themselves. When the family had left for their villa, Hawke called a meeting.

"I think," she started, "we should make this spot our base of operations and stay for a while. It's concealed, there aren't many travelers, and beasts are a minimal risk, so far. I also have an idea."

As the weeks passed by, more and more mages were arriving at the camp, a result of Isabela and Varric venturing out to the cities, recruiting underground or fleeing mages. This had been the vision of Maria Hawke. A place which could be a haven for the terrified and desperate. She herself was no mage, but her husband was, and he was the one who had inspired her to first help the mages in Kirkwall.

* * *

The "streets" Anders was walking through were flanked with tents; homes of mages or regular refugees, the infirmary where he spent most of his time helping, the tent where the food was doled out and which now smelled of the evening broth. He passed the miniscule market that sold minor mage wares, clothes, scavenged weapons and potions. He finally came to a tent that was larger than the others, and stepped inside.

The large tent had deep purple walls and carpets scattered on the ground. There was a large bed in one corner, separated from the rest of the room with a divider. A small square table occupied the opposite wall and contained two chairs for dining. There was no stove, as none of the other tents did. It was a safety hazard to keep one in a house made of cloth; it was one of the rules. A desk was also in the other corner. There, he found his wife sitting, writing something.

"Dear," he said, "I'm back with your ingredients and flowers."

Maria Hawke turned around and smiled, set her quill down and walked over to Anders.

"Thank you very much. This embrium is needed badly," she whispered as she kissed him softly, running her hand over the prickly stubble that blanketed his jaw.

Anders smiled and pushed her mahogany hair away from her face as he reported on the status of kitchen ingredients, and potions stock, which was low.

"Damn. Varric won't like going out again, neither will Isabela. I really should set up a monthly schedule…" she trailed off, plans and approvals sorting through her head.

Varric and Isabela acted as the "mailpersons" as Hawke called them. They left the village as often as needed and traveled to the newer built Lothering, a six day journey, to and from destinations. They also trained the refugees in fighting techniques, should it be bow or daggers, on a daily basis. They weren't the only ones teaching though. Many of the refugees offered their services in return for being a part of The Nest, helping in the kitchen, the infirmary, the market or other small jobs.

"What were you working on?" Anders asked, looking over her shoulder at the desk.

"A list of refugees and families here in The Nest. We're almost to seventy people now. We'll need to start buying more supplies."

Hawke stepped around Anders and picked up the embrium flower lightly, bringing it to a box filled with dark brown soil from Val Royeaux. Soil that wasn't tainted by the Blight and would support this vital flower. Hawke had planned to reproduce more embrium flowers later, but it was hard finding one in the Wilds. Any plant was hard to come by, as the soil would not support it. As Harbinger of The Nest, Hawke took care of securing the necessary supplies and resources the camp needed, made the rules, and provided guidance, whether it be emotional, or training.

A bell clanged in the distance, signaling that it was the suggested time for sleep.

"Aveline is so punctual," Hawke murmured to herself as she slipped off her clothes and climbed in bed.

Anders smiled and followed her, taking off his own tunic and trousers and wrapped his arms around his wife.

* * *

The sun was shining brightly in The Nest as Hawke stepped out of her tent. People were already milling about, going down to the stream to do washing, gossiping in front of the kitchen, children chasing after each other, squealing in delight. Aveline appeared at her side then, a list in hand.

"Hawke, the infirmary needs elfroot, bandages, and salt," she reported.

Aveline was the assistant to Hawke, taking care of the needs of the shops, reporting daily whereabouts, and making sure everything is running smoothly. She also works as the enforcement, patrolling the forest sometimes, and keeping law in The Nest.

Hawke sighed as she added the items on the list for Varric and Isabela to take. "Thank you, Aveline. How are you this morning? I take it Donnic is well?"

Laughing, Aveline replied, "Everything is fine, Hawke. Donnic is enjoying his new position in training. He says the folks can handle a shield well."

"Good, I'm glad you found him in Kirkwall after all of the fighting. I couldn't imagine how worried you were, knowing he was still in there with that commotion."

"Yes, well, it took… strength, I suppose," she said as she stared off, "anyway, I think I shall patrol the perimeter for a bit. See you around Hawke,"

Anders stepped outside the tent then and planted a kiss on top of Hawkes head, standing with her for a few moments in silence. Leaving for the infirmary, she watched him go, weaving in and out between the tents. She sighed and smiled, her mind drifting off in an erotic stupor.

"Well, well," came a sly voice behind her, "thinking sexual thoughts, I take it?" Isabel laughed lightly at Hawkes blushing face. "Ha! I was right!" This made Isabel laugh all the harder.

Hawke joined in on the laughing, glad to hear the pirate queen's humor.

"Isabel, I was just going to go out and find you. You and Varric have another expedition ahead of you," Hawke said.

A crinkle appeared between the dark eyebrows.

"Don't worry, Isabel, this is the last random run I'm going to have you go on. I'm devising a schedule that will have you and Varric go to Lothering at the beginning of every month to bring back all the required provisions."

"Ha, just what I needed," Isabel grumbled, "less journeys but more haul."

Hawke smiled as they walked off to find Varric and inform him of the new plan. Hawke watched them journey off with packs and the cart to Lothering.

Turning around to go to the market, she immediately walked into someone with heavy armor, white hair, and swirling tattoos.

* * *

**AuthorsNote: Thank you for your reviews and suggestions. I hope I receive more helpful pointers and tips. I know this one may not be long either, but I can only do so much after a day of school. Hope you enjoy!**


	3. Once Upon a Time

"Well, if it isn't the elusive Hawke," the slender elf said.

Maria only stared at him in disbelief, a flood of painful memories winding their way through her thoughts, bringing up images which she thought she had banished a long time ago.

"Fenris…?" she said, in a daze.

* * *

Ten years ago, Hawke had been requested by a dwarf to retrieve stolen cargo, which at the time, seemed to be an easy task. What she had not predicted, was that this job would lead her down a new path that would dramatically shift her once dubious opinions on romance and love-bound affairs. After finding this stolen cargo to be nonexistent, an ambush had soon pitted her and her companions against vile and vicious slave hunters in an elaborate battle that left her quite confused after the attack. The mysterious elf which now stood in front of Maria had stepped into the Alienage clearing and introduced himself as Fenris, a valuable slave who had escaped his diabolical master and was being hunted down since. After short explanations and questions, the group had begun a siege on the manor which was thought to house the slave owner, which in the end, it had not, and the strange elf gave his alliance to Hawke in payment for her assistance. The next few years to come, though, would offer much more than Fenris's friendly companionship.

* * *

The night that had fallen over the Wounded Coast was warm, yet breezy, and a large, pale moon cast slivery light along the sandy pathways. The woman and the elf walked side by side, the periodic shoulder brushing was not only an accident, but also contained underlying messages of passion, which both of them could sense. Hawke smiled as she looked over at Fenris, her eyes tracing the bluish tattoos, starting at his chin, trailing down his neck and disappearing into his armor, but she knew where the concealed markings were all too well. The elf glanced over at her for a moment, his eyes following hers, and smirked at his guesses as to what she was thinking.

"Do you always think erogenous thoughts when you stare at me?" he asked teasingly, feeling triumphant that he caught her when she was not guarded and serious.

The red parlor quickly replaced her usual pale one as her eyes quickly darted away; embarrassed by the elves correct observation, but a smile still broke her placid face. She had no response, letting her expression speak for herself as Fenris's smirk grew wider.

The two began to idly chat as they moved around tropical-like trees and foliage, talking about the day's events which included the investigation of a missing wife, returning a lost son, and clearing out a dragon-infested mine. They then came to a large cliff top that opened out to the Waking Sea, the moon reflecting its almost mystical rays in the water. Hawke sat down; her fingers sifting through the sand, letting the warmth that was still captured in the ground from the earlier day relax her hand. Fenris sat down next to her, and then opted to recline on his back as he stared up at the celestial objects that scattered the sky. Hawke joined him in silence, still sifting the sand.

"Fenris, it's been almost a year since I've known you. I've slept with you, seen every part of your body, held you close many times, I know your eyes better than my own. Why is it that I know you perfectly on the outside, but the inside, is a whole new realm? You can tell what I'm thinking just by a simple glance, while I can't even fathom what's going on in your mind. I've never had a stronger attraction to anyone until you. Fenris, I want to _know_ you…" Maria trailed off, turning on her side to face the elf.

Fenris turned to look at her, contemplating if he should answer the question or avoid it. As he favored the latter, he too turned on his side, gave a rare smile, and caressed the beautiful face, concentrating on her light green eyes that always gave him a slight shiver.

"Hawke," he said, "there are things in my mind that I would not wish to bear upon you," as he said this, he pulled her closer, wrapping her in his embrace and kissed her with a passion that he would have never thought he would feel.

Over the next two years, Maria and Fenris had developed a stronger attraction than ever. At the time, she had thought there could be something with the elf that was more than tender, simple caresses or secret words that were exchanged in the darkest shadows of night. She had imagined that one day, they would live away from the prying eyes of Kirkwall, possibly on a farm or in a small village, but then realized it was hard to imagine Fenris in anywhere but a city.

* * *

That night in her newly acquired estate, Fenris and Maria were in her bedroom, where she was going to bring up the topic of a future together. In the large bed where they lay, Maria was thinking of how to bring about a topic like this.

"Fenris", she began, "you know, my mother is inquiring about my marriage interests. And I too, have been pondering the topic. When you think of me, what do you see?"

The question completely caught the elf off guard as he sat up and looked at her, thoughts and emotions swirling through his head.

"Hawke…" he said, "if I think what you're suggesting is right, I must say that you have wrong notions. You would not enjoy a life with me, one where hatred and suspicion color my personality. I have to vouch that my… infatuation with capturing Danarius will not provide a stable relationship. Hawke, I care greatly for you, and if we were to become permanently bound, I would hurt you with my vengeance. You do not want someone like me who has nothing but rage dominating his emotions. I have to say you would be much happier with a man who can give his utmost attention to you and praise you day and night. Hawke, if Danarius was dead, I would give that to you, but since he is not, I can focus on nothing else than finding him." The elf stood up then, putting on his armor, and staring into the fire. "Hawke, the last thing I want is to hurt you with my obsession. I would change this if I could, but my past has dominated my life now. Maybe one day Hawke, but not now," He said the last line with an expression so painful and cold, it made Hawke flinch.

Her mind was in a stupor, the words Fenris just said sinking slowly in.

"Okay Fenris," She whispered as he apologized and left the manor.

Hawke stared into the fire as he had; feeling like her world was falling apart. _This was why_, she thought, _love and romance was a wasteful thing to dwell on_.

* * *

**AuthorsNote: Sorry I haven't posted in like, two weeks. They've been awfully busy. Anyway, I hope this chapter isn't too sporadic in terms of sequence and details. I think I'll write next on why Fenris is at The Nest, but that may change. Thanks for reading and comments!**


	4. Welcome Back

Almost a year after Fenris and her "broke up", Maria had founded solace in Anders, and a relationship soon blossomed between them. Of course Fenris was still a companion which traveled with her, but nothing more than a friend now. Hawke had almost forgotten about everything that happened between her and Fenris, and she was quite happy about it.

As tensions between mages and Templars became worse, she was forced to pick sides to defend, naturally choosing the mages, honoring Bethany, who was lost to the Blight on the Deep Roads expedition. She knew her choice would have consequences, but not on the scale of chaos that was invoked by Fenris.

"None of them are good, and only seek power and demons! I should've expected you to help those abominations with _him_ as your _sex toy_," he spat as he shot daggers at Anders. "I hope you have a hell of a life, falling in love with an abomination. You both deserve to rot in the Void."

He then stormed off, only stopping by his mansion to gather his few belongings and left Kirkwall. Hawke was deeply wounded by his words, and felt like she had lost a sixth of her being. She longed to chase after him and convince him to stay, but suppressed it; she was sticking by Anders. Had she also detected a note of jealousy in his voice? Hawke doubted it, but the thought stilled toyed in her mind.

* * *

And now to see the elf that once told her to rot in the Void was now standing in front of her, a smirk on his face.

"Fenris… What are you doing here" she asked as the sun glinted off of his deep green eyes.

"Didn't think you would see me again, did you Hawke? Your camp here is very well concealed, it took me almost two months to gather enough information to find its whereabouts," he said in his default, solemn tone, "Do you mind if we talk?"

As he was led to Hawkes tent, he commented on how successful the place is, "even though it's filled with mages," he added.

Once inside and seated at the table, Fenris looked around the room, noting the rugs, the desk, and especially the large bed in the corner.

The two sat in silence for a moment as Maria studied the elf, taking in that he had not changed much over the past four years, not even his armor.

"So…" he began, "I suppose you want an explanation as to why I abandoned you in your time of need, and where I was,"

Hawke slowly nodded her head, still not taking in the fact that the elf that used to be her second-in-command was sitting across from her.

"When you told me you were aiding mages," he began, "I was furious. I expected you to understand that mages were vile and dangerous, they always had a risk about them, and you wanted to _free_ them, to unleash the chains that held their temptation of the use of blood magic in place. I felt betrayed that even after I had told you how foul they were and expressed my feelings, you didn't listen. You didn't even regard my opinion. Letting those mages go free would just create another Imperium, where blood magic was a guarantee in every household. And maybe… I was jealous that you would choose to help a mage over me..." He quickly looked away as he said his last sentence and changed the topic.

"After I left though, I went to Starkhaven for a while, deciding what to do. It was there that I found that Denarius has a sister in Tevinter who took over the head of the House after you and I killed her brother. And in Tevinter, you take whatever your predecessor owned. Which includes me," he said with a look of disgust on his face. "So I am now again in the position of hunted slave, as she also values my markings.

"As for the other three years, I returned to Kirkwall and settled down for a bit, knowing it would take a awhile for Atheniara, his sister, to gather influence of her own style in Tevinter. It was when I was attacked by slavers that I set out to seek your aid," He finished as he folded his hands on the table and looked her squarely in the eyes.

"Well-"began Hawke, but was interrupted by Anders coming through the door of the tent, stopping as he saw the smirking elf sitting across from his wife. Maria turned and saw flickers of multiple emotions pass across Anders face: confusion, jealousy, suspicion, but finally settled on complacency as he walked over to the table.

"Dear, what's going on…?"

Fenris was lost in his thoughts as he saw Anders walk in the tent nonchalantly, as if he owned it, heard him call Hawke 'dear', saw the emotions pass his face, noted the matching rings the two shared, and remembered the large bed in the corner that he thought he, himself would be taking a place in that night. _They're married_, he thought, _of course they are, I couldn't have expected Hawke to wait almost six years for me… _He was still slightly dumbfounded at the thought that she married that abomination. The elf also felt the tiniest smidget of jealousy, _that_ thing _does not deserve someone as whole and beautiful as Hawke, that creature hardly deserves happiness at all for what he is._ The elf quickly shut down those thoughts; his pleasure time with Hawke was over on his own decision. If this is what makes Hawke happy, then so be it. _But what if she's not happy,_ he thought, and was warmed at the prospect of stealing Hawke away from that wretched mage.

Fenris was brought back into reality as Anders concluded "…be nice to have our broody friend around again," at which the elf mustered up a smile.

* * *

As the sky turned to a dusky purple, Aveline rang the bell and the camp was quieting down. Fenris was in his own small tent which was pitched a few yards from the training grounds. As he lay on his bedroll, he thought about the day. _I should try to get along with Anders, it shouldn't be that hard. Other than the fact he's a maleficarum, an abomination, and a cocky bastard, he's not that bad. It would also put me in good graces with Hawke…_ At the thought of the beautiful Hawke, Fenris's mind strayed to years before when he would lay with her in the comfort of her bed and softly caress the curves of her body. How she would trace the bright tattoos along his body, slowly, as if in a hypnotizing pattern. _Stop it_, he thought, _it isn't right to think that way when she's a married woman._

Fenris then let his mind stray to the three years in which he stayed in Kirkwall after the fall of the Templars. He remembered perfectly the day he decided to seek out Hawke once more, for it wasn't the attack of slave hunters that forced him to leave, but pain.

* * *

Large manors and elaborate shops lined the streets of Hightown, looming over the wealthy noblefolk and coy merchants that were milling around the grand square, either looking at wares, shrewdly gossiping, or strutting about with an air of superiority. Among this crowd was a tall elf with exotic tattoos, who clearly stood out among the extravagantly dressed women and feather-hatted men. The elf strode quickly alongside the patrons, in a manner which displayed that he was not just idly browsing the shops, or peacefully strolling the square, but was going someplace with focus and determination.

Leaving the clamor and bustle behind, the elf turned onto a considerably less crowded side street, and the din of the echoing squabble significantly decreased. The elf slowed his pace and walked placidly along bridges, high archways and tall pillars, which led him to a courtyard that housed multiple doors, of which one he approached with a set of keys.

The elf stopped in the foyer upon entering, sensing something different about his manor. It had a feeling of emptiness drifting about it, a feeling that was once a constant in his life, one that used to follow him around every corner. This connection drew a brief flash upon the elf. The room was the same one he entered, yet so very different as he was rushed back in time. No candles warmly welcomed him, crates and dusty barrels were shoved in corners or overturned with cobwebs draping them in ominous gloom. Debris littered the floor and the air had a chill to it that pierced through your skin, wrapping its icy tendrils around your veins. This was how the premises looked long ago, back in another lifetime, when he had first met _Her... _Remembering this other world had brought a cringe to his face, making him clench his fists, yearning for what he once had.

Twilight shrouded the manor after the evening meal, the dusky sky spread like a blanket over the city of Kirkwall and had an almost romantic aura about it. Fenris found himself in the bedroom, restlessly pacing between the fireplace and the bed, the past painfully dancing on the edges of his memory, taunting him. Tempting him to remember every glorious day that was passed with _Her, _tempting him to fall prey to the pain and regret that hid behind those memories. A brooding demeanor overtook his figure as it had long ago, an intense scowl marring his face as he tried to push away the sweet memories, the memories that would no doubt pull him into a pit of despair and regret.

He could finally no longer take it. Fenris pulled back his shoulders and took a deep breath, the exhale rushing sternly between his lips. The elf walked through halls and rooms, each section of the house getting dustier and more cluttered as he neared the center of the mansion. The room in which he was seeking was the most neglected of them all with barrels and crates thrown half-hazardly around the room. Dust covered every surface and cobwebs were so thick they looked like cotton fibers. This room mirrored what the entire estate looked like 10 years ago, a fossil in the future. In the middle of this room was a large crimson chest, one with silver filigree and trim, clearly marking the chest as expensive and valuable. The silver ornate "F" on the clasp only added to the grandeur of the vessel. Fenris paused for a moment, questioning if his mental fortitude was high enough to withstand the coming onslaught. Kneeling in front of the chest, his eyebrows knitted together in anxiety.

The lid was flipped open, and Fenris stared at the possessions of a life he once knew. The elf expected pain, but none of this magnitude. He drew in a sharp breath as every memory of years before clearly passed through his head. His chest tightened with longing, regret, passion, and love. As he sifted through the items, his chest only grew tighter and tighter. There was his armor, and the armband and Amell crest she had given him after their love had thought to been cemented. A biography of Her was in there too, signed both by the cocky dwarf who had written it and Her. There was also his journal which hardly had anything written in it, save for a few thoughts he had to get off of his chest. He fondly remembered the elf mage that suggested it might help to write down his feelings, which he did. He remembered thinking it was a ridiculous and accomplished nothing. As he remembered his frustration at the exercise, he smiled, finding humor in his struggle. Flipping through the blank pages, a black blur in the back of the book passed over his vision and his smile quickly faded. The page was found again and his face crumpled as he noticed it was a passage written by Her, professing her feelings of love, passion, and desire for him. He had never seen this note before, and the agonizing pain tore at his heart. There were other trinkets and odds throughout the chest that had once meant something to him, but the last item made his breath stop. As he looked at the portrait, her face was no longer a blur or a fuzzy image in his mind, it was crystal clear. The portrait was titled "Maria Hawke" and depicted a lovely woman with deep mahogany hair that framed her full face. Her piercing green eyes bore right through him, even though I was only a picture and made him quickly look away. And her mouth, pulled up into a sly smile. How fondly he remembered those lips. The shape, the soft touch, the taste. Her voice flooded his head then, "Oh Fenris, you never know when to laugh," her light laugh followed, making his body quiver with dread. A tear rolling down the elf's face signaled it was time to leave.

The next day, Fenris was just about to leave his manor for good when Atheniara's guards had attacked him.

* * *

**AuthorsNote: So, I feel pretty proud of myself that I posted two chapters in one day, but then again, you guys deserve it since I haven't posted in awhile. If you could take note that the part when Fenris is remembering his time in his mansion, was a separate story I had written a friend a few months ago, and I thought it would fit nicely in with Fenris's back story. So if the writing style seems different, that's why. Thanks for the reviews and reading guys. I'm really havig a fun time writing this story. **


	5. Alone in the Night

Maria lay in the bed next to Anders, his back turned to her as she stared up at the canopy of the tent, thinking about the turn the day took. She noticed her husband was being eerily quiet; they usually stayed up for about of a half hour, talking about their day. '

She rolled over, pressing up against his back as she whispered in his ear, "Anders, darling? Why aren't you talking?"

Hawke knew the answer all too well: Fenris. Whether it was his jealousy or the fact he offered to whisk her away on a dangerous adventure, she wasn't sure. But by her guess, she'd say both.

After Fenris had explained what had happened after he fought Atheniara's guards, he revealed his plan to travel to Tevinter and kill her. But in order to do that, he concluded, he would need Hawkes help and only hers, as he trusted no one else with such a personal matter. He then explained how long the journey would take (about a month), and how long they would stay in the Imperium to settle and form a plan of attack (another month). To Maria, this seemed like an awfully long time to be away from The Nest, and her husband and friends.

"Well," he began, "I'm worried. About this journey you plan to go on. I don't want you going to the Tevinter Imperium to fight a powerful mage with that elf who is still madly in love with you. Hawke, I do not trust him. He wanted both of us dead in Kirkwall, and the only reason he came her was for _you_," he finished the last line with a pungent note of jealousy and protectiveness, which endeared Hawke and slightly annoyed her.

"He did not come back just for _me,_" she mumbled, "He needs assistance in capturing his pursuer, and he knows he can trust me, okay? Anders, do you really doubt my faithfulness?" she asked, a smile adding a tone of amusement in her question.

Anders immediately turned to face her as he gathered her up in his arms, "Of course not, my love. I don't want you to get hurt. I would feel much better if I traveled with you and him,"

"But," Hawke started, "this is… complicated. I was the one who helped in killing Danarius. He said he would trust no one else in the matter of his personal vengeance, besides myself,"

"I really don't have a good feeling about this," he whispered into her hair.

Wrapping her arms around his warm torso, she said softly, "If this makes you uncomfortable, then I won't go, okay? I value your opinion over anyone else's."

He pulled back to look her in the eyes, "really?"

"Really."

He sighed in relief as he wrapped his arms tighter around her, kissing at her neck and jawline.

She smiled in a way which hid the thoughts that were really turning in her mind.

* * *

Hours after Anders had fallen asleep, Hawke kept awake, thinking of choices, consequences, duty, and love. What she had really wanted was to go with Fenris for those three months that were sure to be filled with adventure and thrill around every corner. Her hand ached for her faithful bow once again; she thought about it and realized she hadn't seen any _real_ action in _four years_. The thought of sitting idle for _that_ long and losing a life time of practice made her flinch.

And she did miss the elf's company, in truth. Besides Anders, he was the easiest person to get along with, being always sincere and offering words of wisdom. She then thought about the past relationship with the elf. She didn't have any more attraction for him; Anders had done his job well as that of a husband. He praised and adored her daily, provided her with love and friendship. She couldn't ask for more, her husband had given her everything. _Except for excitement,_ she thought. Of course there was excitement in the sensual way, but not in the adventurous way. She missed hunting down bandits or fighting dragons and demons, the rush of exhilaration that poured through her body in the heat of the battle, the sense of power she commanded as she held her bow in hand.

Laying there in the night, he warm husband next to her, and her elven counterpart yards away, she was torn between two choices.

* * *

**AuthorsNote: Here is the fifth installment of my story, When I read it in my head, it sounds unclear, jumbled. So I'll most likely edit it and repost later. But for now, this is what happens. Aand it's a short chapter, so I apologize for that. **

**On the other hand, I must say I am quite pleased with myself for posting three chapters in two days, but I guess that's what you do when you're staying home with the illness. **

**Thank you for your support and comments, may you enjoy!**


	6. A Proposal

The next morning, Anders awoke to sounds of panic and squalor outside of the tent. Jolting from his peaceful slumber and hearing the distress, his eyes immediately darted to the space next to him that did not contain Hawke. Panicked to not find his wife next to him in a time of danger, he pulled on his robes and grabbed his staff, bursting through the tent flaps to defend the life he knew. Looking around, he saw no tents burning down, no Templars ravaging the camp, no dragon hovering above the trees spewing fire. Instead, he saw dozens of chickens running around, followed by numerous people in pursuit. Confused, he stood there, trying to hide his embarrassment of overreacting.

Hawke jogged over to him, a chicken tucked under each arm and a wide comical grin on her face. Eyes bright, face flushed, and hair in a disorderly array made Anders lose his train of thought for a moment.

Regaining his mind when the chicken on the right flapped its wings in a flurry of panic, he said, "What in the name of Andraste happened here?"

Laughing, she said, "Merrill had let the chickens out of their coups, -gasp, gasp- the ones in the market,"

Upon hearing this, Anders chortled with amusement. The elven mage never ceased to make things worse, in a way, but never harmfully. _Even though she is a blood mage_, he tacked on the end.

After all of the chickens were replaced in their proper contains, Merrill stood in front of them, a devastated look marring her face.

"But Hawke! They will be EATEN! Don't worry little feathered friends, I'll help you escape somehow… Hawke, we can't just eat these creatures like they don't have feelings, they need to _live. _How would you like it if someone took you out of your home, plucked all of that hair off your noggin and cooked you over a spit? I don't imagine it would be very enjoyable, now would it?"

The young girl hung her head and slowly walked away, taking very much care to not step on the miniscule ant hills that were inevitable to squash.

Anders, Hawke, and Aveline, Looked at each other, smiled, and shook their heads. Merrill was sweet, but ridiculous at points, and her intentions were always good.

"Well now," sighed Aveline, "I'm glad that this fiasco is over with. How about we grab some ale and relax for a bit,"

* * *

Sitting at the desk in her tent, Hawke looked up to see a slender silhouette appear on her doorway.

"Hawke," the shadow called, "May I enter?"

Maria voiced her reply and Fenris entered, as silent as the breeze. He pulled up a chair next to the desk, sat down, and looked intently at her face.

"What do you say about our trip?"

Maria sighed as she placed her head in her hands

"You know Fenris, I'm not sure what to do. I have duties here at The Nest, and I need to be here For Anders, and not to mention the fact that he doesn't want me going…"

As she mentioned her husband's name, she saw the elf's eyes grow a shade darker.

"…Yet," she continued, "I want to go on this mission with you. I miss the adventure and thrill of danger. I haven't had that in years… I want to help you be safe. You're my friend, and I certainly would be more than pleased to help. But at the moment, I just don't know,"

Fenris's hopes perked up when she said '…would be more than pleased to help' and thought he picked up on a double meaning, but dismissed it as his own wishing, changing her words into something of his own invention.

"What if," he said softly, "you and I ran away together," He looked up to find her face a blank, unreadable slate. For once, he couldn't tell what she was thinking.

"I think…" she began in a raspy voice, "I think that wouldn't be the best idea…"

The elf turned away so she would not see his crestfallen face.

"Very well," he said, and left the tent.

* * *

The option Fenris had just presented her turned countless times in her head. How she would love to leave the responsibility of so many people behind, if only for three months. How she longed to camp under the stars when traveling, not worrying if everyone was fed or happy. She would just need to care for herself. And look after Fenris. She quickly shut down those thoughts. Her place was at The Nest. She belonged at Anders side, keeping order and tidiness. But the longing was so strong!

Maria groaned in frustration, not wanting to offend either her lover or her best friend. She decided she would think about it over the course of the week.

* * *

**AuthorsNote: Yet another short one. You know, I'm kind of contemplating on dropping this story. In my mind, I just don't see it fitting together, but if you want me to continue, I will. Leave your opinions on the idea in your reviews please. **

**Thank you for reading, have a pleasant day. **


	7. An Answer

Days passed as business around the Nest continued as usual. Training took place, meals were served three times a day, shops were tended to, and a small hunting party set out for the evening. As Isabela and Varric returned, Maria walked forward to meet them before they entered the camp, putting on a mask of happiness and serenity to hide her stress.

"Hello!" she greeted, "how was your trip to Lothering?"

The pirate and the dwarf groaned in unison, as they both mock-collapsed on the ground in exhaustion,

"So _boring_," Isabela sighed, "there are never any real men in that dusty town for me to play with. I can't even remember the last han-"

"Okay, okay!" cried Maria, "we don't need to go into detail, Andraste forbid it. Varric, what about you?"

The dwarf also sighed, "It was the same as every time, long, dangerous, and exhausting."

Maria smiled in sympathy as the two stood up on travel-weary legs, "Fenris showed up a few days ago,"

Isabela's eyes brightened at the mention of the handsome elf, "really? Oh good, it's about time someone substantial arrived,"

Maria and Varric looked at her and shook their heads, amused at how willing she was to sleep with anyone.

The three walked into the camp as women and men stepped out of the way for the loaded cart. They walked around to the different stalls and tents as they handed out the appropriate supplies and items, each receiving a smile in appreciation for their efforts.

"I don't see why they can't pay us," Isabela remarked with a wrinkled nose.

"Because they're refugees; they hardly have anything with them, except what they get here," replied Hawke, annoyance coloring her tone.

_Couldn't she think of anything besides sex and money for once?_

Sighing after everything had been handed out, Hawke paid Isabela and Varric ten gold coins each, compensating them for their journey and efforts. Even though the refugees did not get paid, Isabela and Varric did for servicing The Nest in the most valuable way.

* * *

Since Fenris offered to run away, Hawke's brow did not change from its distraught position. How was she supposed to choose between the two options? The two things she valued most in life, and they were at opposite ends. She knew she would soon have to make a choice that either way, hurt someone, both herself and others. If she stayed in The Nest, she would no doubt loose Fenris again, and Maria could not think of losing her best friend once more. And if she left with Fenris, she would lose Anders, the love of her life, her other half. The person she risked everything for when she killed countless Templars. Helping Fenris though, would also be helping hundreds of people by killing a blood magic-crazed magister. And Anders hated blood magic just as much as Fenris, so wouldn't he understand her reason for leaving?

_It's Fenris. He doesn't trust him. Jealousy will overtake man just as easily as a demon would a mage._

Maria groaned as she paced the perimeter of The Nest. She noticed she had done a lot of groaning in the past few days, and was annoyed at herself for not finding a better way to release her stress. She could feel something welling up inside her chest, something that felt as if it were to soon burst. Whether it be anticipation or dread, she didn't know, but one thing was certain: she had to get rid of it soon.

* * *

Anders sat at the desk in the tent, scrawling recipes for concoctions and tinctures to tack on the infirmary wall for the more inexperienced healers to use as a guide. He found he often had to place the quill down, his thoughts engulfing his mind as he thought of Hawke, Fenris, and his plan. He most definitely _did not _want his wife to leave for three months, alone with that blighted elf. Of all her friends, it was the elf that came for her aid. Why couldn't it be Tom-Wise or Feynriel? And it was dangerous! For just the two of them to take on a powerful magister? Anders knew it wasn't just trust that motivated Fenris to ask only Hawke for assistance.

Anders knew of the past between Hawke and Fenris, and remembered how the elf flaunted it in his face. As if to brag that he had won Hawke over. Anders grimaced as he remembered life in Kirkwall, but then smiled as reality snapped back and brought his happy marriage with Hawke mind. _He _had won her in the end, and not the elf. _Maybe, _he thought, _I should let her go. _Images of Fenris staring at his wife with longing in his eyes floated to Anders mind then. _No. I cannot trust that elf around her. He will try something, I just know it. _His heart ached at the thought of losing the love of his life for three months, but his brain shouted at him to give her this freedom. Anders shook his head as he left the desk, pulled off his robes and settled in bed.

* * *

Maria entered the tent silently, knowing Anders was asleep. Her walk around the camp went longer than she intended, but it felt nice to be alone, being able to organize her chaotic mind. She smiled softly as she saw Anders in bed, turbulent thoughts chased out of her mind. She quietly walked over to the bed, slipped out of her garments, and snuffed out the lantern that was still lit. After getting comfortably settled under the blankets, arms wrapped around her waist as Anders pulled her on top of him. Surprised to see him still awake, Maria smiled at him, giving him a soft kiss. Anders kissed back, much more fervently than was expected as his hands moved from her lower back to hold her face. She melted into him as the prickly stubble from his jaw brushed against her cheek, her legs winding around his waist as her hands moved to the back of his neck.

Pulling him closer, her hands inched up to his hair, fingers weaving through his roots as his own hands moved down to hold her waist, one traveling further to caress her calf. Pulling back, Maria looked at Anders expectantly,

"Is everything alright, love?" she asked,

Her husband moved down to kiss her neck softly, and lay back down on the pillows,

"Of course," he said, his hand running up and down her spine lightly.

Maria lay her head down on his chest as she listened to his heart, the steady beat and warm pulse slowly tugging at her longing for sleep.

"Actually," he whispered, "I was thinking about Fenris' offer. But your warm body and soft lips distracted me," he chuckled, "I am willing… to let you go. I can see this trip will do you good; you have too much on your mind here at the camp, and I know how you miss the fight," He looked at her as he said this, his amber eyes sad and full of worry.

She sat up, her hand resting on his cheek as she realized he was sacrificing his happiness to fuel hers. She felt guilty about it. That she got what she wanted while her husband was losing what he wanted. She sighed as a whole new wave of emotions rolled through her mind.

* * *

**AuthorsNote: Sorry this chapter took a while to get out, but I was working on my Skyrim story. I'm not too sure how I feel about this chapter, it seems jumbled. Finals were this week and I am not in the best position to write, so I will most likely revise this chapter. I wanted to get this out for you guys though. **

**Ugh.**

**I hope you enjoy though. Comments are always appreciated, whether they are good or bad. **


	8. IMPORTANT NOTICE

**Something You May Want To Take Note Of**

**Dear followers of One who Lies with Wolves...**

**I have come upon conflict when penning this story. **

**I do not have organized thoughts when I write this, as I do my other stories, and it makes me feel**

**so... messy.**

* * *

**I will discontinue this piece at the moment, but will pick it back up around**

**midsummer, when I have some time to ****_really _****plan out where I want this story to go. **

**I may also clean up previous chapters so they are a bit more tidy.**

**Another reason for doing this is because I am writing other stories, and I would feel **

**much better if i gave this story my undivided attention.**

**(Which will happen when I complete my other stories)**

* * *

**Now, I have not given up on this story, but I want to make it **

**much better, so think this leave of absence as...**

**repairs and rehabilitation.**

**As I said, I will continue it midsummer, maybe even sooner.**

**Meanwhile...**

**If you would like, take a look at my other stories!**

* * *

_**To Steal One's Heart**_

**A story based on Skyrim. **

Following the Thieves Guild main quest line, Maevyn (my OC)

and Brynjolf become partners, as well as lovers, as they try

to restore the guild.

* * *

**And I'm also toying around with this idea...**

_**A Plot is not Only a Space for Gardening**_

**A story based on Dragon Age: Origins.**

Five years after defeating the Blight, Gweneth and Alistair have

their hands full with ruling Fereldan and expelling slavery from the Tevinter Imperium.

Soon, Empress Celene graciously offers Orlais' help in completing this task and comes

to stay in Denerim, keeping close quarters with her new foreign partners.

With the help of an infiltrator though, Gweneth soon finds out

that the real reason for Celene's stay is to murder her, marry Alistair,

and claim rulership to both Fereldan and Orlais.

Calling on old friends and new, Gweneth and Alistair must

be rid of the plotting Empress once and for all in order to protect

their family.

* * *

**Anyway, I am sorry if my discontinuation upsets you,**

**but it WILL be back at some point. **

**I promise you that. **

**And in truth, I'm going to miss waking up **

**and seeing the notifications saying**

**"_ has favorited/followed your story"**

**or**

**"_ has commented on your story"**

**I love seeing that you guys care, and have opinions on my story.**

**It really does make me happier reading what you have to say.**

**It brightens my entire day.**

**Thank you, for believing in my story.**

**I hope you do not give up on it when it seems that I have. **

**(for the moment at least)**

**Have a pleasant day**


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